The Christmas wafer gathering in Białki, 10.01.2009 - a report

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Siedlce, 19 January 2009

Dear Jasiński and Orze(y)łowski Cousins!

I am very glad that you answered my invitation so readily and came to Białki in such numbers for the Christmas wafer gathering; there were about 150 of us. For the Orze(y)łowskis it was the seventh in a row, and for the Jasińskis – the first. It made no difference that two families and their friends had come together; everyone felt like one big family. Among us were veterans who have never missed a chance to meet their cousins, but there were newcomers too, taking part in such an occasion for the first time. This time I asked one of the newcomers whether she would share her reflections and impressions of the evening. Her letter appears below.

Stanisław C-1645 Orzełowski, Jasiński on his mother's side

The Christmas wafer gathering in Białki on 10 January 2009, seen through the eyes of a newcomer

Dear Cousins!

This is the first time I have had the chance to address you, since, as the title of my account suggests, I am really a newcomer to the Orze(y)łowski family, so let me begin with a few words about myself.

For over three years I have been the wife of Rajmund Orzyłowski (C-16723). Our daughter Wiktoria was born in February 2008. This year's gathering in Białki was my second meeting with the many cousins of the Orze(y)łowski family, after the reunion at Radomyśl in 2008 that was cut short by a tremendous storm, and my first with the cousins of the Jasiński family. If I had to describe these two large Families in a few words, the first things that come to mind are the remarkable warmth, joy, kindness and attachment to tradition that radiate from every member of both. These families could be described, and I want to say this in all seriousness, as families "ready for dancing and for the rosary", to whom the saying that you only get on well with your family in a photograph is quite foreign.

After this short introduction, let me come ad rem, that is, to the Christmas wafer gathering of the Orze(y)łowski and Jasiński families. I admit with some embarrassment, dear Cousins, that at first I was very sceptical about this kind of occasion. There were several reasons: I was not feeling well, with laryngitis, and I was daunted by the thought of meeting so many people I did not know (do remember that this was only my second event in such a large company), people to whom I would have to offer good wishes, and with whom I would have to sing carols and make merry. In the end, despite all my misgivings, I decided to go, not least because I knew how much it meant to my husband. Looking back, I can see how wrong I was, and I must say with complete conviction that it was the best evening I had spent in many months. It was an evening full of high spirits, and rich in moments of feeling, reflection and remembrance.

The gathering was held on 10 January 2009 in the village hall in Białki, not far from Siedlce. It came about thanks to the efforts and tireless work of many people, among whom Elżbieta F-4431 Orzyłowska-Łęczycka, Ewa C-16331 Pasztor, Stanisław C-1645 Orzełowski, Barbara F-4342 Orzyłowska-Borkowska, Józef C-1647 Orzełowski and Tomasz C-1412 Orzełowski must not be left out. It should be said that thanks to their work everything was arranged down to the last detail.

Even before we entered the hall, almost "in the doorway", the organisers gave us all a warm welcome and a rosette. Each person in a couple was given a different number, of course, and only later did it become clear why, and my curiosity was satisfied. But more about that later. I loved the hall where the whole gathering took place, and the beautifully decorated and laden tables, with their handsome starters: cold meats, herring, salads, pork loin in aspic, and cakes (the best were the 3bit, the cheesecake and those colourful ones with jelly – my mouth waters at the memory), fruit and sweets. All of it colourful, appetising and fragrant, inviting you to reach out a hand. And as the evening went on, more dishes came: above all a bowl of warm soup, pyzy dumplings, bigos and steak tartare.

We all know that by old Polish custom the Christmas Eve supper, and so also the Christmas wafer gathering that follows it so closely, begins with a prayer, a carol and good wishes, and only then comes the time for eating, for St Nicholas, for games and all the rest. It was no different on that January evening, for if anyone is attached to tradition it is the two families who had come together. So when the assembled members of both Families had taken their places, the lights were put out, and from every mouth at once flowed the words of the well-known carol "Wśród nocnej ciszy", quick, loud and tender. Then, with the lights on again, came a short programme prepared by the organisers: poems and other readings for Christmas Eve and Christmas, and above all carols, which were the heart of that evening. They came back to us several times more. Each time most of those present joined in, and some feared that the village hall in Białki, shaking to its foundations, would not hold. I can let you into the secret: happily, it did. I will not hide that the most moving moments for me were the carols sung by uncle Stanisław C-1645 Orzełowski and his brothers. It was stirring, and words convey neither the tenderness nor the colour of their voices. They brought back carols already forgotten, rarely sung in our homes now, and how beautiful they are. One that stayed with me above all, because I associate it with my family home, was "Bracia patrzcie jeno", which my father and his brother sing in parts every Christmas Eve, and which my late grandfather, the organist, once sang with them. Then, as on 10 January, the walls shake and our hearts are full of joy and gratitude.

An important moment of our evening was the good wishes we exchanged, the very thing I had feared most. Quite needlessly. The kindness and warmth coming from everyone opened my heart to others too, and my shyness and uncertainty were forgotten. It should be said that the particular atmosphere the guests created gave those wishes, which for want of time sometimes came down to no more than "all the best, health and happiness", a quite different weight; you could feel how genuine they were.

I cannot leave out the sketch performed by uncle Stanisław C-1645 Orzełowski and aunt Elżbieta F-4431 Orzyłowska-Łęczycka, playing a married couple in search of the truth about the holy season of Advent. Listening closely, I came to think it a pity that the gathering was held in January. Had it come earlier, perhaps at least some of us would have lived the waiting for the Child Jesus differently: more slowly, better, more calmly, more at peace with ourselves and with others, and would have thought about the meaning of those four weeks before Christmas. Bravo, aunt; bravo, uncle. Thank you both very much for those reflections.

The Orze(y)łowski and Jasiński families would not be themselves, though, if alongside the emotion and the reflection they found no time for fun. There was plenty on offer. St Nicholas could not be missing, of course: he had come all the way from Lapland with a splendid assistant and a token present for everyone. The presents were not given for nothing, however. We went up to him in groups by star sign, starting with Capricorn, and each group drew a riddle. St Nicholas and his assistant had played a trick on us, and the riddles were very sly indeed; they called for quick wits and imagination. A group that failed to guess was given another task. In short, the fun was first rate. Here is one of the riddles, to show how hard they were: - why did the students of Warsaw University dig a tunnel under the Sejm? Because they envied the ones in Kraków and wanted a "Piwnica pod baranami" of their own. Before St Nicholas and his assistant set off again, the members of both families danced them round the floor to a waltz.

One of the high points of that January evening, though, was the dancing. It went on to music of every kind, foreign and Polish, some of it played live, by among others a member of the Orze(y)łowski family – Katarzyna C-13143. To describe this part of the evening I will borrow a poet's words: "Dancing, revels and high jinks, they all but bring the tavern down, ha ha hee hee, off we go." The floor was full the whole time, and only those who were truly tired stayed at the table. Other attractions went with this part of the evening, in particular a competition in the oberek, the polka and the can-can, a game of snake and the great hit, the dance with the rosettes; that was when I learned why my husband and I had been given different numbers. The numbers were there so that for the length of the dance you could find a second partner, with no consequences at all. Rather good, don't you think?!

The competition that stirred the most excitement was the dance on a sheet of newspaper, A3 per person, in which my husband and I had the pleasure of taking part. The point was to damage the newspaper as little as possible while dancing a tango, with figures, of course, and that was hard, given the snow outside, which after a while had left a thin layer of black mud on the floor. Feelings ran high in the audience when the judges chose the couple whose newspaper really was the cleanest, and who deservedly received the crown. Several people then ran up to the judges to ask for an audience prize as well. It went to my husband and me, not for the state of our newspaper but precisely for our figures. I should like to thank everyone very much for that distinction, because I really do feel honoured. My husband and I love dancing, and we are glad we could give the others some pleasure. Another wonderful touch was the singing together at the tables, to the accompaniment of accordions played by Zbyszek C-1648 Orzełowski and Mirek B-4152 Markiewicz (of the Jasiński family). Once again it turned out that music unites, and that the Orze(y)łowskis and the Jasińskis have voices like lions – strong, ringing and beautiful.

There was no describing such a wonderful evening in a few sentences, and so it has taken me rather more space, for which I apologise. I only hope I have not bored you, dear Cousins. Anyone who was not there has something to regret. For me an evening that had promised little turned out to be wonderful, full of joy, warmth, feeling and fun. On behalf of everyone who was there I should like to thank the organisers once again and wish them strength and good health; and to you, dear Cousins, who for one reason or another could not be with us, I wish much happiness and good fortune in the New Year, a year full of family warmth and pleasant surprises, poor in tears and worries, and above all that we may all meet again soon.

Monika C-16723 Jaszczuk-Orzyłowska.